Infidelity: Its Psychoanalytic and Evolutionary Parspectives

Lee, Moo Suk

Abstract

Erich Fromm said, "A man is fundamentally a lonely being, and he needs love to overcome the loneliness and the sense of emptiness." Marriage offers a resting place for the lonely man or woman, and satisfies a variety of their needs. Marriage is an arrangement where two sexually mature human beings live together because they love each other. It is a loving relationship which is established between the mature man and woman, who have formed their own identities and could understand each other. Infidelity is a mental disorder, which destroys the marital relationship, as well as one's mental health. This paper investigates the causes of infidelity from the evolutionary and psychoanalytic perspectives. Evolutionary psychology explains infidelity as a natural phenominon. A man commits infidelity according to his instinct for spreading his genes as much as possible, while a woman behaves according to her gene's design to receive a more superior gene, in order to produce a more superior offspring. The psychoanalytic approach explains infidelity as a phenomenon which occurs when one's identity lacks an ability to sublimate libido:an unresolved Oedipus complex could also be the cause. The Maria-Prostitute complex and the Don Juan character are presented as examples to illustrate these theories. As for the sex addicts who often weren't loved in their infantile life, they commit infidelity compulsively by confusing the sexual act with mother-like caring. The psychology of a person who tries to enact the primal scene by engaging a sexual act with a prostitute is presented. Someone who is often affected by depression and helplessness due to harsh superego tries to heal themselves by sexual stimulation. Infidelitys's influence on the partner is exaggerated by the parther's inner coflict. In the end, methods to overcome infidelity are investigated. Human instincts are not at all moral. To realize this fact is the first step to maintain one's married life without any infidelity problems.